5 Ways to Cultivate An Optimistic Mindset
February 2nd is Optimist Day! Some of you may be thinking “Yay!” but others might be thinking “Oh, no. Another excuse for people to be overly happy.” If you’re the latter, this article is for you!
Optimism just seems to be built into some people. But while they make it look easy, it’s not always just simple for the rest of us to grasp. While I’m generally a fairly optimistic person myself, I also suffer from anxiety, so I’ve had to learn how to shake myself out of a negative mindset when I get stuck in an anxious rut.
I’ll be the first to admit that it doesn’t always just switch like magic when you implement these optimism tips! It requires dedicated effort and a lot of catching yourself in the moment… But these tips have made a big difference to my own optimistic mindset. Try them yourself—maybe they’ll do the same for you!
1. Stop & Think
There’s a big difference between reacting and responding to something. Reacting is immediate, without thought, and natural. Responding is carefully considered, thoughtful, and measured.
When something happens—whether that’s an unexpected event or something planned but that you aren’t looking forward to—it’s tempting to immediately go to worry and pessimism, because it’s familiar and instinctual!
I’ve found that if I just take a few minutes to sit back and think about the situation before I panic or go into pessimist mode, it makes things a whole lot easier. Most of the time, I realise that there’s actually no good reason for me to be stressed or down.
It also helps to ask yourself why you’re feeling the way you are. Are you worried about the outcome of something? Do you have to do something you’re uncomfortable with? Or are you secretly nervous and trying to psychologize yourself into avoiding disappointment by not being optimistic?
Understanding why you’re pessimistic can make a huge difference. Slowing down and thinking about the situation allows time for logic to kick in—and this is where you can actually see that your initial reaction miiiight just be a little unnecessary. This takes you from spontaneous reacting to thoughtful responding.
2. Find Ways to Be Kind
This might sound odd, but giving someone else a reason to be positive can help you feel more optimistic yourself. If you struggle to be optimistic in the beginning, it might be easier to focus on being a positive force in other people’s lives.
Find ways to be kind. Not just a smile at a stranger. Compliment someone when you notice that they seem sad. Let the cashier keep the change. Buy a chocolate for someone you care about. Send someone a message to say you’re thinking of them. Hold the door open for someone, help an older person cross the road… The options are endless!
This is a foolproof way to build more optimism in your own life. Even if you aren’t feeling all that positive, it’s hard not to feel better and to feel grateful when you see how small actions can touch other people’s lives.
3. Do a Friends Audit
They say you’re the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with… So the obvious solution here is to distance yourself from pessimistic people.
It’s not always easy to part ways with friends, especially if you’re used to being pessimistic together! But if you’re making a sincere effort to move to a more optimistic mindset, you’ll thank yourself later for making this move.
Peer pressure isn’t always loud and pushy. Sometimes it’s just easier to fall in line with the general atmosphere… And when that’s pessimistic, it becomes infinitely harder to get yourself out of that looped mindset.
On the other hand, if your non-optimistic friend also wants to develop a more positive mindset, why not try something different… Like the next point.
4. Get an Accountability Buddy
Yes, you can have an accountability buddy for optimism too! We all know that one person who’s unfailingly positive. Why not leverage off of some of that optimism to help you change your own mindset?
Generally, positive people are happy to try and help those who want to become more optimistic. In many cases, just using your positive friend as a sounding board can help immensely—they don’t need to rap you over the knuckles if you aren’t a ray of sunshine, but they can help to reframe things in a more positive light for you.
If you’ve got another friend who’s interested in boosting their optimism along with you, you can become each other’s accountability partners! It might be a little more tricky trying to encourage each other when you’re both feeling down, but it can also help to work through these feelings and push towards a positive mindset alongside someone who knows how you’re feeling!
5. Give Yourself a Break
This is something I also had to learn the hard way. It’s easy to beat yourself up for “not being positive enough”, or “messing up”. Being pessimistic about being optimistic can become a reality!
While determination and consistency are necessary to turn optimism into a habit, it’s also important to understand that nobody is super optimistic all the time. You’re allowed to feel what you feel. And if that feeling is sad or down or hopeless or worried… Then it’s okay.
As the saying goes, it’s okay to have a meltdown, just don’t unpack and live there! Expecting yourself to change overnight is not realistic… And you’ll only make yourself feel worse for those moments when you do fall back into being less than optimistic.
Give yourself a break. Do your best. Pat yourself on the back when you get it right! But don’t punish yourself when it’s hard. Stay consistent, be accountable, and keep pushing through.
You’ll find that it’s easier to form a habit when you stop and think, be kind to others whenever you can, surround yourself with the right people, be accountable to someone, and remember that you’re only human!
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