Being Your Most Authentic Self
In a world where many people are faking it, curated by hashtags and filters, what does it mean to be an authentic version of you?
45% of people have reported feeling lonely and after the couple of years we’ve had that’s not a surprise. Authenticity emerged as a tactic for combating loneliness.
“Authenticity means you show your good side and bad side in a relationship, instead of a curated version of yourself,” explains Sara Stanizai, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Being authentic with yourself is another way of learning to love yourself, learning who you truly are and loving every moment – after all it’s a bit difficult to love yourself when you are tailoring yourself to everyone else’s needs, not your own.
In the digital age, it has become increasingly more difficult to be who we truly are. We are constantly bombarded with media that tells us who to be, what to want, and how we should express ourselves as well as showing everything we shouldn’t strive to be. The influencers you follow and admire slowly chip away at our authentic selves. But by being someone you are not, you are telling yourself that who you really are isn’t okay. When in reality, it is more than okay to be who you really are.
First of all, it’s best to get to know yourself. In the end, you can’t expect someone to know you when you yourself are unsure. Self-reflection is key at this stage – dedicate your energy to assessing what works best for you, your energy, your time and your interests. It is important to be kind to both yourself and to others during this process. It may take time and frustrate you but it is essential to your growth.
Regularly checking in with yourself throughout your journey of self-discovery can help make sure you’re on the right path for you. After and during social interactions, it is vital to evaluate your interactions and how you felt during these social interactions. If something stands out to you as wrong, inquire with yourself about what about it felt wrong and how you can change this for the following day. This can be used for any social interaction, for as little as a brief encounter to a professional setting, as long as you don’t put too much pressure on yourself.
Letting go of attachment to potential outcomes can have a strong impact on your wellbeing. Rather than dwelling on a situation gone wrong or one that could go wrong, it is important to create a way to separate yourself from it so that it doesn’t fill you with anger or resentment. You can’t control what others think of you or how they interact with you but you can control to an extent how their interactions and what they think of you affect you and your wellbeing.
Bringing this new authentic you everywhere you go is important to phase out the old fake version of you. This means even around family and in the workplace. The workplace is considered one of the hardest places to be authentic as we try to fit into the unwritten rules of the work culture. You might feel that you were hired because of your professional ability and that anything other than professional is a big no. While there are some standards you might need to maintain in the workplace, especially in a customer service role, you can do so without giving up this new authentic version of you when interacting with your fellow colleagues.
When you are living as your authentic self, you start to attract people who are doing the same and who have similar values to yourself. These relationships with others can help build you as an individual and push towards becoming your best. Having supportive relationships can help you feel good about yourself.
This requires self-awareness, mindfulness, and self-acceptance.
Remember, you are enough.
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