Why I Am Childfree By Choice
Not everyone wants children but not everyone can accept that. They’ll always say you’ll regret it when you get older or that you’re being selfish by not having children or that you’ve got your biological clock to worry about. But that’s the thing, many of us aren’t worrying about that anymore.
In 2018, babies born in the U.S. fell to the lowest level in 32 years, and the rate has been declining steadily ever since. But with Texas now banning abortions after 5 weeks, maybe this number will be on the rise again whether people want it to or not. Our body, our choice!
It’s a little bit funny we get called childish for not wanting children. Not funny in a good way mind you. As women, we get constantly bombarded with questions like ‘so when are you having children?’ or ‘You’ll change your mind when you get older.’ It’s believed that you’ll change your mind and go back to the outdated idea that motherhood is the natural role of a woman and anything other than this is considered deviant.
Fertility doesn’t stop at a set time for everyone – we don’t universally stop being physically able to have children by 35. Everyone’s body is different and everyone should get to choose when or if they even want children. Research has shown that “baby fever” exists in both men and women even though it is typically associated with women. Research has also shown that it is not related to a hormonal surge and was instead related to your individual experiences with babies and whether they have been positive or negative.
Sometimes other factors make the choice for you, not being financially well off enough or having the space in your current home can often steer people away from having children – either of your own or adopted. In more recent times, there has been a growing anxiety about having kids due to climate change and making sure you’ve chosen the right partner. Yet women still experience this social pressure to conform to the role of a mother. And when we object, we are often bombarded to provide compelling enough answers to suit the needs of others, not ourselves.
But what about the ones who never wanted children, just because?
No matter the reason, whether it be climate change or simply don’t want them, every reason is valid. Even if it isn’t socially accepted. Societal pressures and expectations keep the notion that a child-free lifestyle is something you’ll regret very much alive even in 2022. Common myths still circulate today that women without children lead less happy lives and a lower fulfillment in life. There is also the myth that not raising children will lead to hardships in old age if you require care.
It is important to note that choosing a child-free lifestyle doesn’t equal a dislike towards children. Some teachers for example love teaching children but cannot fathom the idea of having their own, hence they pursue teaching as a career.
While the word ‘family’ is typically seen as you, your partner and children – a nuclear family – your definition of family can be whatever you feel is right for you. Some people end up living with their friends and consider them family. You can choose to go solo or find your own family, you don’t have to create it within yourself.
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